Heartbroken Christmas
by Leta McGotor
Summary: When Severus finally realises that there is someone for him to love he can’t understand it and blocks. What will he do when he receives the message that she has vanished and is now left to freeze to death two days after Christmas?
1. An Unexpected Present

Heartbroken Christmas

Author: Leta McGotor

Chapter 1: An unexpected present

It was cold outside but it was a beautiful coldness. All the snow that had fallen and sparkled now in the light of the sun, which was rising. A new day had begun, a happy day for most of the people. It was Christmas, finally and all were looking at the ends of their beds to see what they had gotten. The few students, that had remained in Hogwarts over the holiday were happily chatting about their presents and what they had sent to their parents and friends. Even at the table of the teachers the presents were the main topic.

The Great Hall was decorated in Christmas fashion and some of the ghosts sang to Christmas songs, when the students and the staff entered it for breakfast. Only one single man looked as if not the snow was sparkling outside but the rain pouring down. He looked as if Christmas was not a holidays of joy and love but one of great mourning and grief. As ususal the others didn't speak to him at Christmas, because they wanted to enjoy it and the company of Severus Snape at those days was unbearable bad. So he only sat at the table, looked as grumpy as ever at Christmas and ate his breakfast in silence.

Severus Snape hated Christmas. His mother had died at Christmas and his father had left him alone. He had become Death Eater at Christmas and once he had to stay in Azkaban over it. No, Christmas had always been something not worthy enough to remember. Ha had never received some presents after the death of his mother and he couldn't say that he cared much about those. But every year, he sat at the table at Christmas and listened when the others spoke about their presents and there was always a thorn of jealousy in his side. Then he often wished that he had somebody he could give a present or receive one from, not that he would ever mention something like that to someone else. With that thorn and the memories of his past Christmas holidays, he looked even grumpier than the rest of the year.

Qickly Severus finished his breakfast, he didn't want to hear what the others had to say and especially he didn't want to be asked for his presents. So he left the Great Hall rather in a hurry, nobody paid any attention to him. When he arrived at the stairs that led down to his own office and quarters he heard somebody call him back. He turned around and saw Minerva McGongall coming his direction. He noted that she wore a dark red dress instead of her green robes and that she smiled. How could somebody smile at a day like that?

"Oh, Severus, good that I meet you. I was afraid you had gone before I can give you this.", she said, giving him a small package wrapped in green and silver paper. "Merry Christmas, Severus." She said, while he stared at it, turned around and made her way into the Great Hall to eat her breakfast.

Severus only stared at the package. Had he gotten a present, a real present? He couldn't belive it. As if he was in trance he went down the stairs into his chambers and closed and locked the door firmly behind him. What was in this package? What had he gotten? Would he like it? He put the package on the table and stared at it, a small smile creeping onto his face. Gentle and careful he unwrapped the little box to see what it had hidden from his eyes.

After several minutes the work was done and a black watch lay beside the paper. It had several arms, each of them for another thing. There was one that showed him the time, another worked like a compass. Another one remembered him of important birthdays and then there were a few ones Severus liked more than the rest. The watch was especially made for people who had to brew potions and therefore a few arms showed him how long something had to brew or when he had to take the cauldron off the fire. In fact he was that amazed by his present that he forgot the time and only when his new watch told him that he had forgotten to go up for lunch he realised that he had a problem.

Severus paced in his room. He had a problem, a big one. He loved his present, his watch he had gotten from Minerva, but exactly this was his problem. Surely she would expect a present as well. What should he do? Give the watch back? – No, never would he give it back, it was fantastic, wonderful and beside that his first Christmas present for years. So, he had to give her something, too. But his next problem was, that he didn't know what to give her. Maybe sweets – no, she wouldn't like them. Maybe a book – no, she wouldn't read it. Maybe flowers – no, she wouldn't think them suitable for Christmas. Maybe socks – no, she was not Albus, who always wanted to have a pair. Maybe a chain with a locket – yes, that was it. She was a woman and women always liked jewellery. The next minute Severus had taken his cloak and was on his way to an old friend who owed him something and was the owner of a jeweller shop.

* * *

In the meantime Minerva sat in her office and corrected some of the essays she had collected at the last day of school. Next to her there stood a cup of hot tea and a tin with biscuits. A hot fire was roaring in her fireplace and the shadows of her furniture danced at the walls. It was early afternoon but because they had winter it was nearly dark outside. There were no clouds at the sky and the moon was wonderfully round and the snow twinkled in its light like thousands and thousands of diamonds. Oh, how she loved this time of the year. 

In two days she would travel to her family for a few days and around the house there were always loads of white snow, not that dirty one of the cities. The children of the neighbors would have build their snowmen and drawn pictures in the white, cold something. She loved that time of the year, although every year she felt a bit lonely. Surely she went to her family but it was not really _her_ family, only her uncle and his wife. Oh, how she wished to have her own family. But, she thought, she should not be so depressed. There were many other people who felt even worse at Christmas and one of them was definetely Severus Snape. She wondered if he liked the present. She had looked for it for weeks and months before she had found it in a little shop somewhere in the middle of Yorkshire. She had known at once that this was the perfekt present.

Minerva wondered what he was doing right at the moment. She had noticed that he was not at lunch and somehow she was worried. Could a so depressed mood be good at Christmas? Wasn't it better to be happy and joyful? Not that she expected him really to be joyful or even laugh but she wanted him to be a bit happy, at least.

She looked at the books she had received as presents. There were a few about Transfiguration but she had the most of them on her own and only one was new. Next to the books there were sweets – probably a present from Albus. She never ate much sweets – what should she do with those? She shook her head. She would give them to the children of the neighbors, like nearly every day. They were always happy about those.

Minerva put the essays away and decided that today was not the day to correct them. She went to one of her chairs in front of the fire and sat down to relax a bit. While she looked into the flames she asked herself again why Severus had missed lunch and what he was doing now. Would he come to dinner? Would her wear the watch? Would he perhaps be a bit happier than in the morning? Oh, how she wanted to see a smile on his face, even a little one. With those thoughts she closed her eyes and fell asleep in her chair.

**Reviews? Thoughts? Questions? – Be not afraid to write something.**


	2. The Mistletoe

Heartbroken Christmas

Author: Leta McGotor

_A big thank-you and my best wishes to Christmas are going to **lisa** and **LinZE** for reviewing._

Chapter 2: The mistletoe

Severus waited nervously at the staircase that led downstairs into the dungeons. He had stood there for a few minutes now, pacing backwards and forwards and thinking what to say and what to do. In his hands he had a little package, wrapped in green paper and with a golden loop. Again and again he was pacing and from time to time he went to the main staircase to look if somebody was coming. Surely there were people coming down and going into the Great Hall for dinner but Severus waited for a special person. She was always punctual with her meals and he couldn't remember that there had been even one time when she came late. But there is always the first time for something and the time when Minerva McGongall came late for dinner seemed to be today.

Severus knew that nearly all remaining people in the school were now in the Great Hall enjoying their dinner, but although he was really hungry, he stood there and waited. She would not miss dinner, would she? Severus heard the laughter from the others and remembering the looks he had received when they had seen him waiting, he knew for sure that he was the reason why they laughed at the moment. It had to be very funny to see him waiting with a small package in his hands. Even the few students had stared at him a few minutes before they noticed his grumpy look and vanished into the Great Hall before he could take any points away or give them detention.

Severus nearly gave up hope and wanted to turn around and go to his dinner when he heard hurried footsteps coming down the staircase above him. He sighed. Maybe it wasn't too bad that she was late, because now there would be no one who would overhear them.

When Minerva reached the bottom of the stairs and turned into the direction of the Great Hall –all in a great hurry for she had slept that long in front of her fire that she had nearly forgotten about dinner at all - , Severus stopped her.

"Minerva, wait." She looked at him curiously but stopped in her tracks and waited. She had hoped to see him at dinner but because she had slept and only woken up a few minutes ago, she had been afraid to miss him. Minerva hadn't expected that he waited for her in the Entrance Hall, what did he want?

"Come here.", he said and pulled her with him so that the others in the Great Hall couldn't see them for they had stopped laughing and talking.

"Severus, what…?"

"Here." He said without looking at her and without further explanation. He gave her the present wordlessly. Minerva stared at it the same way Severus had stared at his one. Then she looked at him.

"Severus, what… I don't understand…"

"Your present. Surely you want one now you have given me one, too."

"No, I didn't expect anything, Severus. I didn't give it to you because I wanted… Don't understand me wrong. Not that I'm not happy you thought of such a possebility. I just didn't expect."

"Yes, but I have something for you. So open it." He said more nervous than before. Would she like it?

Slowly Minerva took the little package from his hands. What would it be? It didn't have the form of sweets and it was too small for a book. Carefully she opened the little box and found herself confronted with one of the bost beautiful chains she had ever see. It was a silver one with a small locket, in which an emerald was set. She stared at the chain and while doing so forgot all around her. Severus looked at her curiously. She had said nothing yet and she had showed no emotion. Why couldn't he read that woman like any other? After several moments of silence, Minerva began to speak.

"Severus, it's… it's beautiful. I don't know what to say. Thank you." She said still staring at her present. "But you know, you needn't…"

"You gave me the watch, so take it. Come, I'll help you.", he answered, not sure why he said it. Minerva gave him the chain and turned around. Slowly and carfully he lput it around her neck – she had a beautiful neck in his opinion.

"So, I'm ready. Let me look. Yes, a beautiful locket for a wonderful woman." He said and his cheeks flushed in the same second. Why did he say such things? Why did he think such things? Had he drunken something poisoned? Minerva looked at him and flushed, too.

"Well, yes…" They said in unison both looking at the floor and unsure how to react. Then they heard a strange noise and Severus flushed even more.

"Oh, are you hungry? Maybe we should go to dinner?" Minerva answered with a small smile on her lips.

"Yes, maybe we should." He said deeply embarrassed. Why had his stomach to make such noises? When they both wanted to turn around they felt an invisible barrier around them.

"What's that?"

"Albus"

"Pardon?"

"It's Albus' work. I bet we are standing under a mistletoe and the barrier doesn't let us go now." She explained and looked up. Indeed there was hanging a mistletoe above them.

"Where does he take those silly ideas from?"

"I don't know."

"And now? Do we have to wait until he comes and lets us out?"

"He won't let us out, Severus. That's the problem – or better that is his aim."

"What, to lock half the staff in? Is the man crazy? No, wait, don't answer. Yes, he is crazy."

"We can get out of here in a minute but you won't like the way."

"What is it?"

"We must kiss."

"We must what?"

"Kiss." Severus looked puzzled at her, Minerva only rolled her eyes and then looked back at the barrier. "But there must something else." She said more to herself and touched it again. Only when two hands packed her from behind and turned her around, she shrieked but stopped when she felt two warm lips on her own ones.

She didn't know what to do, what to think, sie even didn't know how to breathe. It was a strange feeling that was welling up inside of her. Her brain told her to pull away but her body didn't want to listen and the reaction was that she leaned completely into him.

Severus didn't knew what had occurred to him that he had reacted in that way. He was more shocked than his companion when he had kissed her, but now he was glad about it. It was a fantastic feeling to touch her lips with his own, to be so near, to feel her.

Slowly they parted again and looked each other in the eyes unable to speak, unable to have a clear thought. They only stared at each other, not embarressed but dreamingly and satisfied. It seemed as if all around them had stopped breathing, as if the air kept the own breath. But then suddenly it all crashed when they heard a happy sound behind them.

"That's it, that's it.", shrieked Xiomara Hooch and ran up the stairs. Severus and Minerva could only stare behind her.

"I knew it, she is crazy, isn't she?" Severus asked.

"I don't know, maybe."

"Crazy, simply crazy. But you see the barrier has gone. So could you be so friendly and let me go, I have other things to do." With these words he turned around and went down the stairs to his rooms, letting Minerva staring unbelievingly behind him.

* * *

The next morning when Minerva entered the Great Hall for breakfast, she received a wave of curious looks. Some teachers really stared at her and even Albus Dumbledore couldn't look in another direction. Slowly and with raised eyebrows she took her seat at the table.

"Good Morning."

"Good Morning, Minerva. How was your night?" giggled Professor Sprout. Minerva looked at her, not knowing what had gotten into her. But then Xiomara started giggling, too.

"What has gotten into you both?" Minerva asked a little bit aggravated. In that moment Severus entered the Great Hall and Professor Sprout and Madam Hooch started laughing all over. Severus looked bewildered at them but said nothing.

"What has happened?" Minerva asked again. As an answer she only received a little photo. She snapped it from Xiomara's hand and looked at it. In the same second her face lost all colour and it seemed that she couldn't breathe. All the teachers, even Severus Snape, had gone quiet. How would she react? The photo showed two people – herself and Severus – in what seemed a loving embrace. She with her hands around his neck and he with his ones around her waist – kissing – and above them the mistletoe.

Slowly, really slowly she put the picture back on the table. Without another word she pushed it directly in front of Severus and then stood up and left the Great Hall. Seveus only stared after her. What had gotten into her? He shrugged and took the picture in his hands. In the next second all jumped from their places as there was only a loud "Hooch, I'll poison you!" to hear.

**Reviews? Thoughts? Questions? – Be not afraid to write something.**


	3. Farewell

Heartbroken Christmas

Author: Leta McGotor

**Lisa:** I like it when people smile and maybe you can smile again now. It's always a nice gesture and I take it as something like a compliment. Thank you for your review and I wish you a happy new year.

**Holly:** Like you can see, yes, I'm going to update and this chapter will not be the last one. I hope you will read and review the others, too, and I also hope you have a happy new year.

**MiniNerva:** Thank you for your review. Well, I characterized them this way, because there are so many outside, who forgot that even a Severus Snape and a Minerva McGongall are humans. And so, of course, they have their own joys and sorrows, too. I'm glad you like it this way and hope you continue reading and reviewing. I wish you a happy new year.

**To all the others: I wish you a happy new year, too.**

Chapter 3: Farewell

"Minerva, what are you doing there?" asked an utterly bewildered Albus Dumbledore.

"I pack my belongings, you see." Minerva snapped back and rolled her eyes when Albus only looked more and more confused.

"But why?"

"I go to my family like every year. You can't have forgotten that, Albus."

"No, but tomorrow was the day…"

"I decided that it's best to go today." She growled. Albus began to chuckle.

"But the little picture from breakfast can't be the reason, can it? I mean it was a very… suprising picture, indeed, but it was very… likable."

"Do you think so?" She snapped. She hadn't liked the photo, not in the least. How could this woman have dared even to think of such a… a prank? "It's enough, Albus. I'll go to my family this instant but now, please, let me finish. My train goes in 15 minutes."

"Oh, you use the train?"

"Yes, Albus, like every year. You know there are a lot of muggles around them and I don't want to frighten them. I always took the train."

"But this year there is much snow outside and maybe the train will not reach the village. You know there is this great valley and you could get stuck in it."

"Perhaps but only perhaps. And then I have my wand, haven't I?"

"Surely, but don't forget that your magic can be blocked in a valley like that and with so much snow around."

"Albus. No matter how much snow there was, my magic was never blocked. That is something like a fairy tale. I have never experienced that this is possible."

"But I have and it is not enjoyful. Don't you think it is maybe better just to apperate?"

"No and now let me. I have to catch my train." With those words she left her rooms and hurried down the stairs to catch her train in Hogsmead. Albus only shrugged but he felt somewhere deep in his stomach that it wasn't good to let her go, something that said him to be very careful with her decision.

* * *

In another room in the castle there was another figure in a disturbed mood. But in contrast to Minerva and to his usual mood, Severus Snape was something like a happy man. Never in his life he had liked this holiday so much like this year. He couldn't believe it on his own. There had so much happened and there was still so much happening.

When he had kissed Minerva McGonagall yesterday, he hadn't known what to say afterwards. He couldn't explain to her what and why he had done it, because he couldn't explain it to himself. This strange feeling in his stomach and in his legs, the dizzyness that came that suddenly and the rising temperature around him when he had looked in her eyes. Surely he had felt such things before but not all together and not that strong. Similar feelings had been far too weak to even be noticed as such ones and they had never brought him in such a situation – a situation, where he wanted to do something.

But at the moment Severus didn't know what to do and so he was pacing back and forth in his office and from time to time he sat down and looked into the fire to think things over. There were a many things, which were on his mind, mostly questions. Were those strange feelings love? Was he really able to love someone? Did she love him back? This was one of the questions which plagued him most. Could a woman, as one as Minerva was, really love someone like him? And if it was really possible, had he destroyed it with his flight? Was there the possibility of that wonder that could only happen at Christmas?

Hours came and went and Severus neither knew what to do nor did he found an aswer for his questions. Maybe it would help when he brewed something, maybe it would calm his nerves down. So he came to his feet and started a comlicated potion, that bewitched the senses and made all around oneself as wonderful as anything could be.

It was evening again and Severus, who had just finished his potion, entered the Great Hall. He was hungry, because the whole day he hadn't eaten anything and therefore he was nearly starving. Another reason why he went into the Great Hall comparingly early was that he hoped to meet Minerva there and to tell her what he really had felt the evening before.

When he went along the Entrance Hall he looked automatically at the place where the mistletoe hung the evening before. But now there was an emty space and no trace of it. Why would someone take the mistletoe away? Severus shrugged. He would ask Albus about that, because Albus was the one who always knew everything. So Severus went into the Great Hall for dinner.

Only Professors Flitwick and Sinistra were seated at the table yet. Severus sat down without even glancing in their direction. Nevertheless he felt their gazes linger on him and he knew exactly why. The photo at breakfast had shocked him. He hadn't known that someone had seen them. That was a very bad point in his opinion. But the evident and that the person was Xiomara Hooch made it all even worse. Severus had taken the little picture with him at breakfast. No one else should see it and now he had it always with him. He would protect this little picture, where it held so much hope in it.

After several minutes other teachers came into the hall and they all looked curiously at Severus. He ignored their gazes and looked up at the ceiling. It was snowing non-stop and he wondered if there was a chance to get out of the castle. Then Albus Dumbledore entered as the last one the Great Hall. He sat down and all started eating. Severus wondered. Normally they would wait until all were seated but now it was clearly visible that Minerva was missing. So Severus cleared his throat and whispered to Albus:

"Where is Minerva? I have something to discuss with her."

"Minerva is not here anymore. She caught the train this morning and is now on her way to her family. I'm afraid whatever it is you have to tell her, it has to wait. I hope it's nothing very important." In Severus' opinion it was very important but he didn't tell this Albus and only leaned back. He knew she wanted to her family like every year but normally she would not go until the next morning. Why had she gone today and not tomorrow? Was it because of him? Had he done something wrong? It was his fault, he knew it, and he had to speak with her. Silently Severus decided to follow her the other day. He had to speak with her, he had to tell her about his feelings, he had to see her – he simply had to.

**Reviews? Thoughts? Questions? – Be not afraid to write something.**


	4. White Snow

Heartbroken Christmas

Author: Leta McGotor

**Slim Shady:** I've planned to continue, so don't be frightened that I let this unfinished. Thank you for reviewing.

**Charmedsisters:** I try to update as soon as possible, but sometimes all around me doesn't want that. There is the school, my parents, my friends and so on. So please, don't be angry with me. Thank you for your review.

**Sivenus:** I thought I had found all mistakes, but ok. Surely, there is not really a basis for SS/MM but to be honest there isn't really a basis for most of the pairings you can read here. It's the fantasy of you and me to let those things come alive. Thank you for your review.

**Miyabinohana:** I won't stop writing, that's a promise. Thank you for reviewing.

**Lana:** Awesome in a good or in a bad way? I know a scene with a mistletoe is so typical for Christmas but sometimes you can believe it's no real Christmas feast without it. Thank you for your review.

**Underground:** Thank you for your compliment. I hope I will hear of you again. Thank you for your review.

**Rikki8879:** I believe it was you, who reviewed yesterday or so the three chapters. You may wonder why I only "believe" it, but I got an E-Mail that you reviewed and normally I read those E-Mails and erase them. Today I wanted to look for your name to answer you reviews but I couldn't find it. Probably I'm faster with updating that the pc. Nevertheless, thank you for your review (I hope I have the correct name) and if there was a question I'll answer it in the next chapter (I promise).

Chapter 4 White Snow

Minerva sat nearly alone in the train. She knew at the end of it there were a few people and one old man sat opposite from her and read a newspaper – The Daily Something – Minerva was not interested. From start of her journey until now she only had sat there and looked out of the window. Every year when she made her way to her family she was fascinated by the snow outside, but not this year. First: This year there was simply too much snow to really enjoy it. You could sink in it already but the sky looked all but willing to stop the uninterrupted snow storm. The second point was definitely no other than Severus Snape.

She had enjoyed the kiss they had shared, the clumpsyness before it, because he was so nervous. For a few seconds she really had believed her prayers had been heard but then he had pushed her away and all her world had shattered around her. First she was only struck dump and couldn't move one single cell in her whole body and when she came out of her numbness, he was already gone. How could she have been that stupid? She had cursed herself for it and gone without dinner to her rooms. She hadn't slept very well because every time she had closed her eyes and her brain stated to relax she saw him and every time she drifted off to sleep she saw and really felt the kiss and every time when he pushed her away she woke up with tears in her eyes.

This morning she had decided to stay calm. She would ignore him the whole day. He should not be satisfied by seeing her as broken as she felt. So she had made her way down. She expected all and she had known that she could have handled with all but not with the photo. She had forgotten it already and by looking at it she felt her pain from the evening and the night rushing back to her. The best what she could have done was to go. So she had decided to go one day earlier to her family than planned. Surely they would accept it. And while she sat there and looked out of the window, she sighed. The man looked up but when she showed no other reaction he continued to read his newspaper. _Those young people here._

Suddenly the train started to become slower and slowerd until it stoped completely. Minerva didn't notice the change but stared at the white mass outside. The man with the newspaper sat upright and listened. But although he had good ears he couldn't understand what was going on and why they had stopped in the middle of this great valley.

"Do you know why we have stopped?", he asked Minerva. Startled she looked up at him and only at that moment she noticed the stop.

"No. What happened?"

"I don't know but I will look for someone who can tell me." The man stood up and went into the corridor. Minerva remained in her seat, Albus' words ringing in her ears: _"Don't forget that your magic can be blocked in a valley like that and with so much snow around."_

_

* * *

_

Severus rushed through his rooms as if he was in a competion. He was looking for uncountable things: His keys, his cloak, his shoes, his wand and many more. He couldn't imagine why he should put this all at different places. But he had done it and so, everytime when he noticed that something was missing he rushed back in another room only to come back with a single sock or one shoe. To make it short: Severus was in a hurry and because all seemed to work against him, he became more and more aggravated over the time until nothing seemed to matter anymore. It didn't matter that he broke his cup and that the tea poured over his desk down to the floor, for example.

Finally Severus reached his door to go, when there was a fine knock on it. Angry with himself and all around him, that he was that late, he opened the door only to find Albus Dumbledore standing in front of it, in his hands something like a radio.

"Albus, what do you want? I'm in a hurry and what's that?" He looked at the radio skeptically.

"That's a radio."

"But it doesn't look like one. And even when it is one it won't work in Hogwarts. No radio whether for wizards or for muggles does work here. Have you forgotten this point?"

"I know. But this is my own." He answered and bent down over the radio a mishievous twinkle in his eyes. Severus only rolled his ones and looked at his watch, which remined him on Minerva and all the things he wanted to tell her.

"Albus, see. I'm really in a great hurry and I'm afraid I won't have the time for your radio. So please, excuse me."

"But it's very important, it's about Minerva." Severus turned around in a rush, his eyes widened.

"What's with her?"

"She took the train to go to her family and I warned her that she could get stuck in that great valley, you know. With those masses of snow it can also happen that her magic is blocked. If I'm not mistaken exactly that has happened. The train got stuck in the valley. I heard it in the news on my radion mere seconds ago."

"B-but we must help her. She could freeze to death outside. Do you know how cold it is here and can you imagine how cold it's there? We must do something?"

"Of course, but what? We can't sent people who look for them. They would have the same problem with their magic and… Severus, where are you going?"

"I go and rescue Minerva.", he said shortly before he vanished on the stairs. Albus only shook his head sadly. He had been afraid that something like that would happen and now it was reality.

Severus stormed out of the castle. He noticed nothing of the things around him, he heard nothing, he saw nothing. All his senses were with the things he planned. He couldn't let her freeze to death in that valley. He had to rescue her. With a few steps more he had arrived at Hagrid's, who had to free the brooms from the ice.

"I need a broom, immediately."

"But, you won' go out there, with this weather?", answered Hagrid.

"Don' ask. I need a fast one." Without futher questions he seized one of the brooms and went out, again. He prayed that he would be in time and not too late, because it was very, very cold.

**Reviews? Thoughts? Questions? – Be not afraid to write something.**


	5. Snow, snow and not to forget snow

Heartbroken Christmas

Author: Leta McGotor

**Rikki8879**: I can read your reviews online now, so today I'm SURE that I get the name right. You'll see that Severus also hopes that he reaches Minerva in time and I believe some support is exactly what he needs but doesn't receive. Thank you for reviewing.

**Lady Henrietta:** Well, he finds her of course (you'll read below), the question is whether he is in time. Thank you for reviewing.

**Underground:** Imagine Severus as a real knight in shining armour riding with his black horse through such a mass of snow. Poor Severus. I believe with a horse it might be even more difficult than it is now. Thank you for reviewing.

**Jade1982:** And here is the update. Sorry that it took me so long but here around me it is cold, too and therefore I couldn't bring myself to write the end of this chapter for quite a time. Thank you for reviewing.

**Miyabinohana:** When I write a story I often wonder for myself how it turns out. Sometimes I know it from the beginning on and then I change it all and it ends completely different. But this time I try to stick to my idea because I like it this way. Thank you for reviewing.

Chapter 5 Snow, snow and not to forget snow

It was a long and difficult way for Severus. The wind drove the snow directly in his face, his hands hurt because of the cold and his eyes watered. But nevertheless he made his way through the snow storm, not looking left or right, his only aim to arrive at thr stuck up train in time.

After what seemed like days and not hours he reached the valley. Somehwere here had to be the train. He looked for rails but because of the never ending snow the whole countryside was white and without every trace of a train. Panic raised in Severus. He had known how to reach the valley without the rails but the area was to big to find it without help. What should he do?

Slowly Severus landed in the deep snow, whipping the snow out of his face. He pulled his wand out of his pocket and said "Lumos". First there was no sign of a reaction but then, slowly, the tip of the wand started glowing. With much luck he could use magic to find the train, but what would happen, when it was blocked and he was also stuck up in the middle of the valley?

Severus leaned on his broom. Should he really risk his own life by going down there? Again he whipped the snow out of his face and brushed with something hard against his cheek. He looked down at his wrist. There under a bit snow was the watch, he had got as a present, and was telling him that it was to time to go into a warm room. The watch seemed also to be cold. While staring at it Severus shook his head. He wouldn't let her there. He had made the way till this point and he would go. He had to find her. Severus took his broom and made his way down the valley, using his wand to get the right direction.

From time to time the broom made some strange movements. Severus knew that it was because of the frost, but he couldn't stop. Only a few minutes later the broom refused to fly any further and he had to land. There he stood in the middle of nothing but white. Not only the broom refused to go on, even his magic was completely blocked now. But Severus knew that he was going in the right direction. From his broom he had seen a group of people going in the same to look for the victims of the snow and to help them. He also knew that these people would need one or two hours at least to reach the place where he was, not mentioning the time they needed to reach the train. So he took the broom and went on.

The icy wind seemed even to become stronger with every step he made. The snow reached over his waist and from time to time Severus sank deeper until the white mass reached nearly his shoulders. It was a horribly long way but finally a coloured point came into his view and half an hour later the train was clearly visible. It lasted even one hour longer until Severus could reach it. Because of the frost all the doors were shut tightly and when he tried Severus had to notice that he couldn't open them from the outside. So he tried it with his wand but all that came was a tiny transparent cloud that vanished within seconds into nothingness.

Severus sighed and looked around. But there was nothing but the white mass of snow which seemed to swallow all if not quickly enough. Severus felt in his pockets, he needed something to destroy one of the windows to get into the train, but his mood sank as he sank into the snow, when he found nothing useful for this task. Stones weren't visble and there wasn't something similar, either. What should he do?

Severus looked down at the broom, which was now covered with snow, although Severus had put it only mere minutes down. It was no use for him but he took it from the ground and leaned the broom against the train. Severus looked up and down but no idea sprang to his mind. Then he looked up again. Above the winow there were only a few inches until there was the roof. On top of that Severus could see parts of an iron bar, which was mostly there to decorate the train.

Mere seconds later Severus jumped a few times up and down and tried to reach the bar, hoping that this would hold him for a few moments. After some attempts he finally reached the bar and hold to it. The only thing he needed now was a swing. Slowly Severus started to swing back and forth, still hoping that the bar would not break. He had the luck with him. When he had enough speed and strenght in his swing, Severus started to kick against the window, praying that it would broke before the bar would do so, especially because it made some rather unpleasend noises.

After some breathtaking moments, the window and the bar gave way and with a painful fall Severus landed in the train. He looked around. There was the broken window on the floor, with it some snow. On the left and on the right were a few seats, behind him another window. Luggage was missing. Severus assumed that very few people were on their way at this time and so most of the train was probably emty.

Severus came to his feet. It was cold in the train, it seemed that the air here was even colder than outside, but Severus was not interested in such a phenomenon and hurried down the corridor. He met no one on his way up the train and all the compartments he looked into were empty. From time to time there were a few suitcases and bags, some of them opened, some others emptied on the floor. It seemed as if the owners had tried to find their warmest clothes between their other things and that the rest of their belongings didn't matter to them anymore.

Severus went on until he finally stopped abruptly because he had seen a person in one of the compartments. Carefully he opened the door, which was a bit difficult, because the frost had made it immoveable. Finally and very slowly the door gave way and Severus was confronted with the body of a young blonde woman. She lay on the ground, her grey eyes wide opened but empty. She was already dead, frozen to death. Severus looked uneasy around. Behind the woman there was another dead body, this time of a young child, that probably belonged to the woman. Both of them had several pullovers on but it seemed that this didn't help them to escape from the death.

Severus went on, even faster than before. He hoped – no, he really prayed - that he would find Minerva still alive. On his way he found more and more opened bags and he started wondering whether their owners had started making their way out of the valley on their own. Severus knew, if they really had gone out of the train, most of them were dead by now. The cold and the wind outside were deathbringing and he was glad that he had had his magic and his broom for the greatest part of the way, or he maybe hadn't even reached the train.

Finally there were only a few compartments left and Severus had nearly given up hope that he would ever find Minerva, when he saw another person in a compartment. Qickly he opened the the door, which was all but easy because of the frost. Severus instinktively felt that this compartment was the last he would have to look through, because something told him, that this person was Minerva, although he hadn't come near her.

Tbc

I know, I know. Some of you are going to hunt me because this is a cliffhanger. But I promise you that I will hurry up with the next chapter (I have holidays now, so there is really a chance of me updating sooner)

I would be glad if you left me a review. If you have no idea what to write in it, maybe you can guess how it is going on? Surely I have my own idea about it, but I'm interested what others would make out of this situation. So, please review, no matter what you think about it, only tell me.


	6. Returning

Heartbroken Christmas

Author: Leta McGotor

**Lisa:** But when you hunt me I have no time to write and you have no time to read – bad solution. But a bit of sport could do me good, that would be fantastic. Thank you for your review.

**Underground:** Thank you for reviewing.

**Lady Henrietta:** When I imagine how cold it must be there in reality, I can freeze to death only by thinking. I hate it when it's cold especially when it is a long time. Thank you for your review.

**Jade1982:** Yes, he has indeed to hurry and bring her back and with the cold around him it's not really easy. Thank you for reviewing and for you thoughts.

**LinZE:** Yes, we can be lucky that we probably will not have such a problem and I'm extremely thankful that there are enough people to help if it should happen, nevertheless. Thank you for your review.

Chapter 6 Returning

Finally the door cracked open and Severus hurried inside to the figure sitting on the floor next to the window. He kneeled down beside her and pushed the long black strands of hair out of the face of the woman. Severus gasped. He had known since the first time he had seen her in this compartment, that this person was indeed Minerva, but to see her now was a little shock to him. Minerva leaned heavily against the wall, her hair hung loosely around her, her eyes were shut, her glasses hung slightly askew from her nose. She was unnaturally pale, her skin had a really waxy colour, if you could speak of a colour at all. Her lips showed a shade of blue instead of red and they were slightly opened. In one hand Minerva had her wand, although she had noticed several hours ago that it was useless. Her other hand was covered with a pile of her own clothes, as the rest of her body.

"Minerva?" Severus whispered carefully in her ear, as if he was frightened that she would broke into two pieces. He felt a huge wave of despair washing over him when she showed no reaction. He felt for a pulse and sighed reliefed when he could indeed feel one, a weak one but still a pulse. Her skin was cold when he touched her and it felt lifeless. Severus swallowed. He knew he had to hurry but now he asked himself whether she would survive the whole way back out of the valley. He shook his head. There was no other way out of here and so he had to try.

Severus took Minerva in his arms. A silent moan escaped her lips but this was the only reaction he got. Carefully and as quickly as he dared he made his way back to the end of the train and out. The broom was waiting for him, although nearly invisible because of the snow, that covered it all over. Severus took the broom and started making his way back. To his luck the snow storm had ceased a bit and he could follow his own trace back.

It was a long way out of the valley. From time to time Severus tried to use the broom but every time his hopes went a bit higher the broom refused to fly and sank back into the snow. Often Severus talked to Minerva, knowing that she could not and would not answer him.

Not one hour later Severus got another problem, because now it was afternoon and – like his watch told him – time that it became dark outside. Severus felt as if he had to cry. Why did all the forces of the nature try to stop rescuing his beloved Minerva? Why did they want to see her dead?

"Hold out, Minerva. I know you'll manage it, you always managed everything. You can do it."

Severus struggled on his way up and out of the valley. Every few minutes he stopped and wiped the snow out of his and Minerva's face or tried his broom and wand. Suddenly he sighed. Instead of moving slightly and then sinking back into the snow, the broom stayed hovering half a metre above the ground. With rising expectation Severus tried his wand as well with "Lumos" and it showed indeed its light. Severus sighed again. Carefully he climbed onto the broom, holding Minerva tightly that she didn't fall into the snow, before he flew off.

It was completely dark outside now, but with his wand, that showed the direction, Severus could find ther right way easily. He had also performed a charm which let them become warm. Severus was relieved when he could feel Minerva's breath against his throat, because now he knew that there was still this chance of getting her to Hogwarts in time.

On and on they flew through the darkness. Under them the woods and the whole countryside vanished in it and only from time to time there was a small illuminated house or village. Severus had lost every track of time. It could be late afternoon or evening but he could imagine as well that every now and then there must be dawn visible.

Suddenly a shiver ran down his spine and he looked down at Minerva. Her head leaned against his shoulders, but while the look on her face seemed nearly relaxed some time ago, their was now a painful expression. Her hands had turned into fists and her breath was all but slow and calm. Carefully Severus landed. Something had to be wrong, but he couldn't imagaine what it was.

"Minerva? Minerva, can you hear me?" Severus din't really expect a reaction, but at his words Minerva opened slowly her eyes. They were clouded and she looked unconcerned into nothingness, her head leaned still weakly against his shoulder. Severus hold his breath. He didn't know what to do now and so he simply waited. After some moments Minerva began speaking in a weak voice, that sounded not at all like hers.

"Make it stop… please… I… I can't… stop it" Then she paused and closed her eyes again, whispering Severus' name before loosing her partly achieved consciousness again.

"It's all right, Minerva. Don't worry." Suddenly his watch gave alarm. Severus looked at it and was startled when it told him, that he should use the little boddle in his right pocket. _Which bottle in my right pocket?_ Severus thought confused, but when he looked at the small flagon he had found in his pocket, he remembered the potion he had brewed several hours ago. This potion could give someone beautiful dreams and peace, in fact it showed a sleeping person the _heaven on earth_. Everything the person ever wanted will be given to him or her in this dream and he will forget all the bad things he had experienced. This potion was often used in hospital for badly injured people and Severus used it sometimes when his sleep was troubled.

Now he gave it to Minerva, hoping that it would help her to survive the last bit of their way. Carefully Severus made his way through the snow, on and on, praying that it wasn't that long to Hogwarts anymore. Minerva slept peacefully in his arms.

Nearly one and a half hour later Severus landed on the Hogwarts grounds. Not caring for his broom anymore he hurried up the front steps with Minerva in his arms. He didn't stop to look around or to explain the situation to an utterly bewildered looking Sibyll Trelawney (who did **not** know about what happened) until he reached the hospital wing. When he entered Poppy Pomfrey was waiting for him. Professor Dumbledore had informed her about the whole situation and so she was prepared for Minerva and Severus.

"Put her on that bet there and then sit down in this chair, please."

"You can help her, right?"

"I hope so." Madame Pomfrey sighed when she started examining Minerva.

"You hope or you can?"

"Severus, simply shut up and sit down! I can't help her with you standing in my way and asking questions I can't answer yet. Sit down!"

Completely weakened by the long way Severus sank down on the chair without saying another word. He looked to the floor. He knew he could do nothing to help her now and suddenly he felt weak and helpless. He felt in his pockets – only trying to concentrade on something else – when he found something beside the flagon in his right pocket. Looking at it Severus recognised the photo Madame Hooch had taken the evening before. Clutching it tightly Severus stared out of the window, not able to look at Minerva or the bussy Madame Pomfrey.

**Reviews? Thoughts? Ideas? Questions? Something else? – Just tell me.**


	7. Incidents in the Hospital Wing

Heartbroken Christmas

Author: Leta McGotor

My thanks to **Slim Shady, Lady Henrietta, Jade 1982 **and** Deathbeforglory** for reviewing and yes, she'll be okay, because this is the last chapter and it has indeed a happy end.

**Underground**: I didn't plan to write about those dreams but they include a nice place and Severus and… :-) Anyway, there is not so much that will happen in this chapter, it is the last one. But I hope you review nevertheless. Thank you for your thoughts.

Chapter 7: Incidents in the Hospital Wing

Severus awoke with a start when a beam of the sunlight hit him. In fact he was that shocked and confused by the light, that he slid from his chair to the floor. Slowly he opened his eyes again. A large window met his eyes, showing him the Hogwarts grounds. On his left and right were several beds, all of them unoccupied. Swaying slightly Severus came to his feet again and looked around properly. He had been wrong. One of the beds was indeed occupied.

Severus hurried to the bed and stopped only a few feets away, realising that the person in it might be asleep. Carefully he crept nearer and nearer, watching the woman's breathing and thanking all he could think of that she was alive. She looked peaceful in her sleep, her hair and face were freed from the ice and snow and her lips had neglected the shade of blue and had turned red again.

Cautious Severus sat down on the edge of Minerva's bed, still watching her. After a few moments he lifted his hand and touched her cheek. Her skin felt soft and warm instead of cold when he had found her. Slowly his hand wandered to her lips and to her other cheek until it reached her hair.

"What are you doing there?" said a voice from the other end of the ward. Severus turned around and saw Poppy Pomfrey standing at the door with a furious and confused expression.

"I…" Severus began, not knowing at all what to say.

"Yes? She needs to rest, can't you see that? And you need rest, too. I wanted to transferre you from the chair into a bed immideately after I had finished with Minerva, but you couldn't wait, could you?" She stormed, coming nearer with every word she said.

"I need no rest and I only wanted to see how she is, because you didn't care to wake me up and tell me." He answered furiously himself, feeling helpless like a baby and very useless for Minerva.

"She'll make it and now go to bed."

"'She'll make it' means?"

"What do you think it means? She is asleep now. That's a better cure than anything else in the moment. We'll see how she feels when she awakes, but she will be okay, right? So don't ask any other silly questions and go to bed. I have been awake the whole night and I don't need someone else to worry about beside Minerva. So GO TO BED!"

"But she'll definitely make it, yeah?"

"I told you so."

"Good, but I'll stay here."

"No, you won't"

"I will."

"No…"

"I will and you can't stop me. So go to bed and let me alone with her." Whatever Madame Pompfrey answered Severus didn't understand it. He didn't care, either. Minerva would be all right and that was all that mattered right at the moment. Severus looked back into her face and nearly jumped when two green eyes looked back at him.

"Has someone already told you, that it looks funny when you are embarrassed?"

"I've never been embarrassed."

"No? Then I have seen it wrong or it has been the first time." She smiled slightly, closing her eyelids and relaxing.

"Maybe I… I… Alright I was embarrassed, but you would be, too, sliding from the chair and been watched by someone like her."

"I don't think sliding from a chair is why you looked that way." Severus looked to the floor. So she had felt it when he had touched her?

"Thank you, Severus."

"What for?" He looked up and saw that she was watching him.

"For saving my life."

"I… It's all right. I was near the train by chance and so I could help. Easy." He answered not looking her in the eyes. He couldn' tell her the truth. If he did, he would have to explain his feelings, too, and that was something he couldn't stand to do – not at the moment, anyway.

"Near the train, were you? What have you done there without magic at all. I remember a broom on our way back."

"Yes, I… I… Alright, I followed you after Albus had told me the train had got stuck up. Had you preferred I hadn't done it?"

"No, I said that I was very grateful. … I heard the others around me. Most of them started going out. They wanted to go out of the valley on their own. That was something like committing suicide, wasn't it? But there was another woman a few compartments from mine. She didn't go with them, either, and stayed with her daughter. What happened to them?"

"I found them dead, already. I couldn't help them, even if I had had the time." He looked into her face and saw a single tear making its way down her cheek.

"She wanted to go to her parents and then back to London. Her husband is in hospital and she couldn't visit him and care for her daughter at the same time. So she wanted her parents to stay with her…"

"I'm sorry." Severus said and felt it, too, although he hadn't known the woman with her daughter or the husband at all.

"Why?"

"I don't know." He shrugged and felt incredible stupid.

"Severus?" He turned to her.

"Don't blame yourself. That's not you. Think what the students would tell." She smiled. "Severus, I feel weak, very weak and tired. I don't want to send you away, but…"

"It's alright, Minerva. I'll come back. Sleep now or Poppy'll have our heads, you know her." Before he had even finished, Minerva had fallen asleep. Severus sighed and watched her for a while, before he made his way down into the dungeons.

* * *

The next morning Severus awoke early. It was dark outside and neither the moon nor the stars were visible. But to Severus this all didn't matter. He didn't care for the stars and their meaning and he had hated to watch them even as a student. 

After he had showered and washed his hair (yes, he washed indeed his hair) he made slowly his way up to the hospital wing. He knew that he was early, but he also knew that Minerva liked it to stand up very early and he hoped that she might be awake yet. Carefully he opened the door and peered inside. Of course there was no light in the room. Madame Pomfrey was still asleep and the sun hadn't risen yet.

Quietly Severus went to Minerva's bed. When he was only two steps away a female voice said: "You are early. Poppy'll kill you – or us – for that."

"I bid you a Good Morning as well, Minerva." Severus answered.

"Yes, Good Morning."

"How are you feeling?"

"Better."

"Better?"

"Yes, better. I'm warm again and I have slept the whole night and I hope that Poppy is really still asleep, so I can try to stand up."

"No, you don't. You aren't strong enough yet."

"And you can judge about that? I feel perfectly cured, Severus, and you can help me if I fall, right?" She swung her feet out of the bed and stood up.

"Be careful."

"I am careful." Slowly she made a few steps. "See, there is nothing to worry about." But in this moment her feet gave way. Severus cought her fall in a hurried movement.

"I told you so." He said while pulling her upwards.

"I know, but I don't want to stay in bed for the rest of my life." She looked into his eyes and saw the worry there he tried to keep to himself. They were so close and suddenly Minerva remembered the moments when they had stood under that mitletoe.

"Severus?", she whispered not knowing exactly why.

"Yes?"

"Why… why have you run away?" This question had nagged on her since that evening.

"What do you mean?" he asked still holding her in his arms.

"When… when we stood there under the mistletoe?"

"I… I…" Severus closed his eyes and prayed for an answer. What should he tell her? How should he explain his feelings. He didn't understand it, either. But then an idea came into his mind and when he opened his eyes and looked into Minerva's sad, questioning and hopeful ones, he was determined to do it. So he simply leaned down and kissed her passionately.

Minerva responded immediately and pulled herself even closer to him. She had wished for quite a time now to be kissed from someone she loved dearly in that way, but never did she imagine that this someone was Severus Snape. If she had realised it before this kiss then only mere seconds ago. Severus pulled her closer, too. He never wanted to let her ago again, never. But then…

"What do you think you are doing there?" asked a harsh voice from the other end of the ward. Minerva and Severus parted immediately and turned around. There was a furious Poppy Pomfrey in her light blue dressing-gown striding towards them. "You are my patient, Minerva, and you need to rest and don't dare say something. Go to bed or I'll forget myself! And you…" She was standing directly in front of Severus now. "How dare you use her weakness to… to…"

"Poppy, he didn't…"

"Be quiet, Minerva and go to bed!"

"I'll go then, too." Severus said retreating defensively.

"Yes…" Poppy turned around to watch Minerva go to bed again, so she couldn't see Severus wink at Minerva before he vanished around the next corner.

* * *

"I'll never forget Poppy." 

"I'll never, either. I wished I could have helped you there, but…"

"It was probably better for you to go. I've never seen her in such a state."

"Yes, frightening."

Minerva and Severus lay outside next to the sea on the Hogwarts grounds and enjoyed the sun. It was summer now and the events of Christmas were nearly forgotten – nearly.

"I believe she'll never forgive us."

"No, probably not, although she has been barely cruel to me the last time I was in the Hospital Wing."

"Yes, I explained her that we are going to be married coming December. You had to have seen her. She was so excited about it all, that you would think she is the bride and not somebody else."

"What do you mean with "Somebody else"? You are the bride."

"Yes, I know, but what if I change my opinion?"

"You wouldn't… would you?" Minerva smiled and kissed Severus on his forehead.

"No, never." They shared another passionate kiss.

_**The End** Okay, that's all for this time. I hope you enjoyed reading as I have enjoyed writing it. It would be great if you were leaving me a review, although it is the last chapter. Thanks!_


End file.
